Dearest Inay…I Remember You

Inay…it was 2 months and 2 days ago when we lost you…when our Lord and Creator called upon you to join Him. We cried…we mourned our loss…and we are trying to live our lives.

Taken last April 28, 2013, at Clearwater Resort and Country Club, Clark, Pampanga

But there are times when I feel the pain as if it was just yesterday…when I misses you. And these past days were one of the hardest. And tonight while resting in the hammock at Daniz Garden, I remember you…

September 8, Monday

I remember you on our 15th wedding anniversary…and this was the first time without your yearly greeting. Just like my birthday…you never failed to greet us on this day. I remember you when we received our “marriage blessing”. Mommy Lydia was there but I would love to see both of you witnessing the ceremony because you were not there during our civil wedding. And I missed you beside me…

September 9, Tuesday

I remember you…when I saw the picture of the Lotus Flower that was taken during our trip to Tabas. How you made sure that there will be pond in the farm to raise Tilapia and Dalag (Mudfish), as what we believe. But now I’m thinking…was it really for the fishes…or so you could plant Lotus, purple, pink and white. And as soon as the flowers bloom, you will cut it and bring it to church. Oh. how I love to see you carrying those flowers…

September 11, Thursday
 
I remember you when I happened to open the “Daily Word for Healing”…on the bookmarked page that I read last July 8 upon receiving Pau’s text message that partly says “let’s pray for the best but prepare for the worst”. On that day, just as always, I prayed for guidance and while my eyes are closed I open the book and this is my answer. The words gave me hope even though I knew that we might lose you but I am still hoping against hope that you will be able to get through…just like you did the last time you were hospitalized. I remember your strength of body and most of all, your strength of spirit…

September 12, Friday
I remember you..the moment I picked up a crab, opened it and saw the aligue (crab eggs). This was the first time that I ate crab since we had lunch together at Fairview during your 73rd birthday. it was a happy day…seeing you, talking to you, joking with you, spending time with you. I forced myself not to cry, not to show my emotion and I succeeded…as I thought.  Then suddenly, Ate Bevs said, “ang sarap, paborito ito ni Nanay Nor…I pause for a while to compose myself. There were no tears in my eyes but I was crying inside. I remember you and your penchant for crab…

After dinner, I went to Daniz’ Garden just outside the kitchen. I lie on the hammock, looking up the sky. The night is dark but I saw one star twinkling bright. And I said to myself, “Inay, I hope it was you up there, looking down on me with a smile, sending your love.” I tried to take a picture, but it was so far…I only captured the darkness of the night. So I just looked up again…then close my eyes…and I remember you with my heart…

Then Jonjie joined me outside, requested Ate Bevs for some tea lights and started to light the candles hanging above.  And I was comforted…

You may also read:

• Farewell, Dearest Mother
• Remembering Mother A Day Before My Birthday
• Daily Log: Listen, Beloved
• Daily Log: Moment of Solitude
• For our marriage blessing last September 8, Our Love Story: Ang Aming Muling Pagtanggap ng Basbas ng Kasal